"I hate bumble bees. They're too big and buzzy."

-David Hubbard, while killing Cicada's by the dozens

"I think we should all get in the same tent...I mean for the warmth."

-Andrew McClanahan, on a bone-chilling backpacking trip

"You just gotta be yourself and a little less."

-Will Childress, talking about women

"Hey guys, I think the woods is on fire."

-Me, when the woods burned down

"I hate to ask this, but could somebody get me a bottle of water."

-Joel MacNaulty, the last 6 harmonium shows

"Sometimes, to get a girl you have to throw a little Woo at her and see what sticks."

-Hank Hill

"There's not a day goes by that I don't think about it, but I just suck it up and keep on going somehow."

-Brock King, talking about 'the act'

"Be careful what you do...somebody else might have your name."

-Monica Lewensky (not the White House Intern)

"Y'all are just a bunch of slack jawed faggots. This stuff'll make you a goddam sexual tyranosaur...just like me."

-David Hubbard, quoting the movie "Predator"

"Fuck the whole bunch of em. As soon as they start saying lamda epsilon chi mother fucker and all that shit, I just glaze over."

-David Hubbard, ranting about sorority bitches

"They want Mr. Jet Fighter Tom Cruize types that have it naturally. If you're out there running for your health, they won't give you the time of day. You have to run to get in shape. If you run, you're a bastard!"

-Andrew McClanahan, ranting about girls that run on the track

"I just want a girl to hold...and lick."

-Me, almost joking

"We make our livings working with systems that are difficult to understand and often output messages that make no sense, require a great deal of maintenance and frequently have to be coaxed into producing the desired results. Can you think of anyone who'd be better equipped to please a woman?"

-A poster on Slashdot.org, commenting about who makes better lovers.