"I think we should all get in the same tent...I mean for the warmth."

Andrew, on a bone-chilling backpacking trip

"You just gotta be yourself and a little less."

Will Childress, talking about women

"Man, there are a ton of campfires through those trees."

Me, when the woods burned down

"I hate to ask this, but could somebody get me a bottle of water."

Joel MacNaulty, the last 6 harmonium shows

"Sometimes, to get a girl you have to throw a little Woo at her and see what sticks."

Hank Hill

"There's not a day goes by that I don't think about it, but I just suck it up and keep on going somehow."

Brock King, talking about 'the act'

"Be careful what you do...somebody else might have your name."

Monica Lewensky (not the White House Intern)

"They want Mr. Jet Fighter Tom Cruize types that have it naturally. If you're out there running for your health, they won't give you the time of day. You have to run to get in shape. If you run, you're a bastard!"

Andrew, ranting about girls that run on the track

"I just want a girl to hold...and lick."

Me, almost joking

"We make our livings working with systems that are difficult to understand and often output messages that make no sense, require a great deal of maintenance and frequently have to be coaxed into producing the desired results. Can you think of anyone who'd be better equipped to please a woman?"

A poster on, commenting about who makes better lovers.